What’s it like being a single, twenty-something, gal dating in Bucks County? Follow Single in the Suburbs as she takes us on her dating (mis)adventures!
I had multiple outfits laid out on my bed. Being summer, I had to be careful. I’m sorry, but sometimes shorts can be too short. I settled on an outfit based off our messages online. He seemed quite laid back for being in a crazy and unpredictable career so I went with the simple shorts, quarter length t-shirt and flip flops. I really didn’t want to go all out because I certainly did not want him to expect that I looked absolutely fabulous all the time. C’mon, I am human after all! I can’t always be wearing heels and a dress!
E.B (eligible bachelor for those who missed my previous article) and I were texting sporadically throughout the day while we were at work. We eventually reached the point where messaging using the online dating app was becoming tedious so we exchanged numbers. On a side note, DO NOT exchange numbers with someone if you are not 100% okay with it. Thankfully if you have an “oops” moment and give out your number to a total weirdo (they are out there), there are plenty of ways to block the number or let him/her down easy. I’d give you my email to discuss these methods, but that would totally give away my anonymity here.
We settled on a place and time to meet. I quickly rushed home and slipped on my “I’m-not-desperate-I-swear-outfit.” It was 6:30. I arrived at the bar a half hour early. Nervous doesn’t even cover everything I was feeling! There I was sitting in my car totally picking out all the guys walking in the parking lot by themselves wondering if it was E.B. I couldn’t tell if I was mostly excited or nervous. I think the combination of the two was enough.
6:50pm. I decide to text E.B to tell him I was here. Around 7, my phone goes off. As I read the message I was surprised I wasn’t screaming and cursing out everyone I saw cross my path. He pseudo stood me up. He claimed he told me that he was running late. I scanned through every message thinking I misread something, when I realized it was just his sheer stupidity. Not once did he mention the fact that he was going to be late. I decided to play it cool and tell him not to worry about it that I would just head home. I wanted to make him seem like I didn’t care so he felt bad. Sounds like total mind games (because it is), but it works. Sure enough he was messaging me back telling me to wait. I don’t know if it was a stupid move on my part or a smart move, but I decided to stay and wait. From the wise words of my best friend, it’s better to know than not know. So true. I had to know if he was worth it. So he made a mistake. I get it, it happens. Let me give him a chance to make sure I am not missing out on anything.
Despite this whole mess I managed to stay positive and keep my guard up. He finally showed up around 7:45-awesome. At that point I had already got us a table outside and was just awaiting his arrival. He rounded the corner and to my surprise I see a short, popped collar, sunglasses wearing, super tan man in my presence. Not AT ALL what was “advertised” on his profile. He sat down and introduced himself, casually leaving his sunglasses on during the entire introduction! I felt like I was talking to a wall. Reading someone’s eyes is a huge deal when getting to know someone! I don’t care how sunny or not sunny it is outside, take your glasses off and be a human being!
At this point I felt uncomfortable. I found myself asking him all the questions and let me tell you, his responses reflected his “I-wear-my-sunglasses-at-night” attitude. In about 20 minutes I learned about how much money his family makes and how whatever he needs, he gets. I don’t know anyone who finds someone who flaunts their money attractive. I’m sure there are some people out there and that’s great if you’re into that, but to me , it just makes me feel that I would never measure up solely based on the fact that financial situation isn’t as ideal as his. I mean c’mon! I’m a 20 something trying to live in Bucks County! Do you know how difficult that is?!
In my head I knew I was cutting this date short. Being home having a conversation with my dog sounded more appealing than sitting here with this guy. To my surprise he wanted to walk around town after our date. Great. How do I get myself out of this one? I suppose my short responses and abundance of questions was a plus for him because he wanted to hang out more. I quickly began running through ideas in my head to get out of staying later. The best I could come up with is that I had to get home for my dog (both true and not true). Unfortunately he remembered I lived with my parents and questioned why I needed to get back. This led to me telling the most drawn on story as to why I needed to get back home despite the fact that my parents were watching my dog because he is “my responsibility.” Such a parent thing to say. It was horrible. I should have just come clean and said, “look you’re alright and all, but this ain’t happenin’.” So much easier said than done.
Eventually I convinced him that what I was saying was “true.” He then had the nerve to ask me if I would talk to him again. At this point I was so frustrated with him trying to convince me to stay longer when he was the one that was late, that I bluntly stated, “no, probably not.” I couldn’t believe I had the guts to even say that to someone! Look here people one thing you need to know about me is that I HATE making people upset. I do not like hurting people’s feelings, who does really? This is good and bad because sometimes this ends up hurting the person more. He just gave me a blank stare and said “well, alright then.” All I could choke up was “alright, well thank you and have a great night. Good luck with everything.” I was a mixed bag of emotions. I felt bad, sad, mad, annoyed, disappointed, you name it.
On my drive home I did was most girls do, popped in some Taylor Swift and screamed the words “we are never ever ever getting back together!” Not really applicable, but totally appropriate. Feeling defeated yet surprisingly rejuvenated, I drove home eventually feeling tough and strong for doing what was best for me and him. Why would I let “us” continue if I wasn’t interested?
It hurts to let someone down, but it truly makes both people stronger. Stronger for experiencing it. So there I was at home with my newfound strength and go-getter attitude. So believe it or not, I signed onto my dating profile and began scouring my search for guys that fit me and my needs and not just responding to the guys that messaged me. After all, I had options here.
And there he was…