By Nicole Loughan

Let’s face it there would be no babies and no mommies without some women taking nine months out of their schedule to eat, sleep and avoid caustic substances all in the name of growing the next generation. Making a baby is hard work and more than a little embarrassing, as your body grows, things change move and shift in unexpected ways. I asked some of my favorite moms to share their funniest pregnancy stories with me so that we can smile together and remember some of the indignities we faced when creating new life. Names have been altered to protect the thoroughly embarrassed. The following is my Mother’s Day gift to you:

The last supper – My friend Kate wanted to go out for one last hurrah with the girls just a few days before her son was born. She went to Ooka, a combination sushi restaurant and hibachi with the girls and learned quickly that such posh establishments were meant for lighter ladies. The table was set so close to the chairs that when she slid in to take her seat her belly grazed the top of the table taking out a water pitcher and several dishes. She said she was mortified but the restaurant rallied around her and brought out new items without saying a word about what happened.

Just a little bit of pee – Jennifer was, at only seven months pregnant, walking her dog down the street and ran into a neighbor. One she knew at a little better than an acquaintance, their kids often played together and they would share a wave on morning walks. This morning while they made chit chat, laughing and going on about the weather when Jen felt a minor sneeze coming on. She reached to her face, let out a tiny sneeze and instantly felt wetness spread through her pants. She quickly grabbed her dog and with little explanation ran home.

Moved to tears – Sweet Erica was pregnant during the Olympics and loved to watch the opening ceremonies, but this time whenever a new country was announced her eyes would begin to water and she would cry for reasons she could not explain. Even worse between announcements Morgan Freeman would come on and in a deep baritone narrate advertisements featuring athletes, she said just hearing his voice during those commercials started the waterworks. It doesn’t sound too bad until I Googled his commercials from the 2008 Olympics only to learn that they were just ads for Visa cards.

Enjoy the show – Sarah was on her last day before her large baby was set to be delivered by C-Section. She was so large and hot that she refused to wear underwear or pants with elastic in them. She spent her last day cleaning and took out the last of her garbage and recycling. On her way out the curb her pants started to creep down from her belly and before she could set down the box to pull them up they fell to the ground around her ankles. A car was driving down her usually quiet street so she used the recycling box as a shield for the front side of her body and followed the car with the box as it passed. As soon as it was out of sight she dropped the box to the ground and pulled up her pants. When she stood and turned around she noticed that a large number of middle school students were behind her waiting for the school bus and they had seen the whole thing.

Have a great Mother’s Day!

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