by Nicole Loughan

Photo credit: Flickr user Steve Polyack

The first homework assignments of the year are coming in, and I’ve taken a stand, I’m not doing any of it. This may sound like a given, but sadly it’s not. I refuse to touch my kid’s homework unless directed to do so by the teacher.

This phenomenon started in pre-school. The teacher sent home a paper masquerade mask and with instructions, “have your child decorate this mask for Mardi Gras.”

I showed my child the mask. She pulled out her crayon box and stickers and went to town. Then mask day came and half of the kids in the class pulled out Picasso-worthy masks. One kid had a velvet Batman placed over molded clay with wooden dowel supports. The original paper mask was nowhere to be found. Another mask was sown over with pink silk and lined with shiny pearls and crystals. There was also a wooden stick wrapped like the best bridal bouquet to support the creation. Let’s not forget the other mask adorned with plumes of feathers. These were next to other masks, scribbled with markers, stickers, crayons and stamps. In the pictures you see proud looking children smiling under elaborate masks next to a group of frowning children holding up their Popsicle stick supported creations, thinking somehow they are inferior.

And the smiles of pride should be reversed. I told my daughter, when she wept about the state of her mask, to be proud that she did it herself. It was her idea and a representation of her creativity. I hope one day she will appreciate that and understand.

It was just as bad in kindergarten, even when the teacher sent home a note saying in no uncertain terms, “Parents do not lay hands on the project, guide the creative process but let the child do the project.” These were the instructions for our 100 days project, where the child was supposed to make an art project that represented 100 of something. My child chose to do a book of snowflakes with Anna and Elsa Cutouts. She cut out every Anna and Elsa, glued them into the book, chose themes and placed 100 snowflakes in a book she bound with yarn. She made each and every crooked hole punch herself.

Then we hear about the other projects, like a sugar cube igloo made with 100 sugar cubes, adorned with sugar cube penguins and polar bears. Are you kidding me! My friend saw this creation and was so angry she went home to see if she could make a sugar cube igloo as elaborate as that one, she couldn’t. We are supposed to believe a five-year-old made it. It was selected by many other children as the favorite.

It’s not just the child whose parents did the project that loses out. They miss an opportunity to use their own creativity and be proud of their own work, but all of the other children suffer as well. They don’t understand, as the adults do, that the parents did that project. They just feel like the three-year old who made a silk mask fit for a queen and a bear igloo is somehow a glue stick savant and they are not as good. To the contrary. Kids doing it themselves are doing it right and will gain an opportunity to grow and learn and take pride in themselves. The other kids will learn to lay back and let somebody else do it.

This is why I’m asking now, can we please agree to let our kids do their own work? Let’s sit on the sidelines and cheer them on, but when it comes to getting to the finish line they will do that on their own two feet.

Living with Littles is presented by The Dance Academy. Since 1987, The Dance Academy in Holland, PA has been offering professional dance training with a personal touch, instilling the love of dance to students and families throughout Bucks County. Under the direction of Miss Donnajean Kline (BFA in Dance, Temple University) and staffed by a group of highly-trained instructors, The Dance Academy has acquired countless awards and accolades each year at local, national, and international competitions. Through recitals, competitions, advertising publications, professional companies, and tours; Dance Academy students are spreading their passion for dance both here in the States as well as on international stages. Fall registration is now open.

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